


Wishing He Was Home

by LokiNeedsHugs1031



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Castiel in the Bunker, Castiel is a Sweetheart, Crying, Crying Castiel, Crying Dean Winchester, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s14e03 The Scar, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Men Crying, Mild Hurt/Comfort, POV Castiel, POV Dean Winchester, Post Episode: s14e03 The Scar, Romantic Fluff, come on SPN writers let Dean fucking grieve!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 06:10:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16423907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiNeedsHugs1031/pseuds/LokiNeedsHugs1031
Summary: My take on Dean expelling Michael. Oh yeah, he actually deals with it. Lots of Hurt/Comfort





	Wishing He Was Home

**Author's Note:**

> It has been a LONG time since I've written Destiel! But last episode had me fuming a bit! So here's a fix-it where we get some kisses and snugs and Dean actually deals with what happened.

            Cas nearly jumped out of skin when he heard the creaking of the bunker door. He’d been waiting in the war room the entire time on edge and was somehow able to ignore all of the people in the room as busy as it was. He’d gotten the call from Sam a few hours ago and he found he could hardly sit still. As soon as the door creaked open he was up off his seat. There was Sam with one of Dean’s arms wrapped around his shoulders seemingly holding the other man up.

            Cas joined Dean’s side racing up the stairs, taking his other arm and looping it around his own shoulders, “Is he alright? Is he hurt?”

            “He’s really out of it, spoke a little at first then passed out on me and Mom. Come on Dean, let’s get you to your room.” Sam grunted at the pull of his older brother’s heavy weight.

            “Is Michael really gone?” Cas asked, his voice betraying him and more. He’d managed to stay strong the last few weeks, never really losing it, but so close he could taste it. If he wasn’t given a win now he didn’t know what he would do.

            Sam’s face was pinched, “I think so but I’m being cautious. But yes, I’m pretty sure.”

            They made it to Dean’s room, which Cas had slept in every night since Dean said yes to Michael, and laid him to the bed. Cas eased him onto the mattress, a hand cradling his head, it was only now he realized that his hair was cut differently, and he was clean shaven, a look Cas had rarely seen.

            To his horror there were scrapes along his fine jawline and his knuckles were also bloodied up and bruised. Only his right knuckle however. Sam and Mary had given him somewhat of an idea of what Michael had been up to these last few weeks and they still weren’t sure of Michael’s intention. He wondered how much Dean was aware of or had been aware of. With Lucifer, Castiel remembered everything and even now, thinking about all those months ago he felt his heart trill with anxiety. Even after all of this time, in the dead of night he found himself having a hard time dealing with all that and more.

            “Are you sure he wasn’t harmed? He seems barely conscious.” Cas asked, without thinking sweeping fingers through the short strands of Dean’s hair before situating his limbs more comfortably on the bed.

            “Besides a nasty cut on his arm, don’t think so.” Sam sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands, “Sewed it up nice on the way home, he barely woke up, which worries me. Even the bite of a needle didn’t wake up him. Don’t know if it’s a kind of shock or what.”

            A million thoughts threatened to eat Cas up, what if there had been brain damage? It was known to happen to angel’s former vessels. Just with that thought released into the atmosphere, his fingers still tangled in Dean’s hair the man leapt up from the surface of the bed with a shout and would have fallen right off of the bed had Cas not caught him by both arms, “Dean!”

            “It’s not me, it’s not me!” he yelled, struggling against Cas’ hold, “Let me out!”

            “Dean, Dean, it’s me, it’s Cas, look at me,” Cas pleaded, holding tight, he let go of his arms and cupped his face with both hands. It was in this moment all the pain over the last few weeks began to wash over him and his heart was bursting with love and pain for the man in front of him. “ _Look_ at me.”

            The expression on Dean’s face was wild, his eyes green eyes wide and then suddenly wet, “Where…where…Michael…we were in the woods.”

            “It seems he exited you, you’re alright, you’re safe.” Cas tried to soothe, both of his thumbs caressed Dean’s temples, “Breathe with me, breathe.”

            Dean’s hands were over his now, “Cas?” he croaked, his fingers tightened around Cas’ wrists, “This isn’t real, it can’t be real, it’s not. It’s not!”

            “Shhhh,” Cas cooed, he pressed their foreheads together, “It’s real. I promise, this is all real.”

            “No,” Dean cried, shaking his head and Cas could feel the intensity of trembling increasing the longer he was awake, “He’s lying to me again. We were on a beach together, we were happy. You and me…and then I knew…I felt it…he was lying, and he yanked me back and then I was drowning. I tried to fight it Cas I did, I did, I did…”

            Cas abandoned the light, tentative touching and gathered the hunter firmly into his arms, “Dean I’m here. I’m right here.” He pressed a firm kiss against his temple, ignoring the fact that Sam was right there. Since Dean was allowing the affection he indulged himself, he snaked his arms around Dean’s back and with one palm stroked up and down his heaving back.

            “I’m sorry, sorry, sorry,” Dean whimpered, even half conscious, grief stricken, he was fighting the battle of letting go, of losing it. “I can’t let this not be real. I’ll be good, just let me keep this please, let me stay with him.”

            Cas’ eyes began to burn. “He’s gone Dean, he left you. This is all real.” he repeated, “I won’t let him hurt you anymore.”

            “I-I didn’t think it would hurt so much.” Dean gasped, “I couldn’t breathe. I can’t breathe…”

            “You’re panicking, that’s all it is.” Cas assured, he looked to Sam who was close to tears.

            “Dean,” Sam spoke up, “He’s gone. This isn’t a trick, Lucifer would do that to me too. He’d make me think I was safe, that I was with you, and then I’d wake up. But I swear all this is real.” Sam placed a hand to Dean’s back and his brother gasped. “You need to sleep.”

            “Can’t. I can’t…”

            “It’s okay,” Cas murmured against the shell of his ear, “I’m here. I’ll keep you safe you can rest.” he pulled away just enough to catch Dean’s line of sight. To say the man was shaking was an understatement. “You’re safe now.” he repeated, “You can let go, you can rest.”

            Dean’s breath hitched so suddenly it made both Cas and Sam flinch, “I can’t keep doing this. I-I’ve tried to keep strong…and…I can’t do it again.”

            “You won’t have to.” he brushed both thumbs beneath Dean’s eyes and Dean leaned almost fully into the touch. He took a chance and kissed Dean’s cheek and then the other, “Let go.”

            And then Dean did. Explosively so. The first sob was like a gunshot and it was the only sound in the room, he fell against Cas, his arms wrapping around the angel almost painfully, “Don’t go, don’t go, I’ll be good. Tell him I’ll be good he won’t listen to me anymore I just want out.”

            Cas sighed in exhaustion, looking to Sam who was certainly crying now, he nodded and patted Cas’ back in silent agreement that he could take care of this.  And this was going to take some time so he did the only thing he could think of, play into the delusion. “I’ll tell him, don’t worry I’ll stay right here. You’ve been so good, so strong, this is okay.”

            He’d never heard Dean cry like this. It was more or less the straw that broke the camel’s back he supposed. Dean had never been possessed, not like this, not out of complete control over his own body.

            The tears lasted a long time and then Dean was slumping, face buried in Cas’ now wet shoulder.

            “Cas, wanna stay here.” Dean slurred, his chest hiccupping and arms suddenly limp, “S’nice and warm. Always cold there where he is.”

            “And you will,” Cas whispered against his ear, “Why don’t you lie back. It’ll be better in the morning.”

            Vehemently Dean shook his head, “Can’t sleep. Don’t wanna go to sleep.”

            “But you must.” Cas argued tracking his fingers up and down Dean’s spine.

            Dean pulled away with a loud sniff, chest heaving still, he was suddenly looking down at his clothes and then in a move that made Cas jump he was tearing at his clothes. “These aren’t fucking mine.” he growled out from a tired sob.

            “Shhh,” Cas soothed again, taking hold of his hands that were clawing at his torso, “Stop, stop, stop. I’ll get you undressed. We’ll get you into your clothes, alright?”

            Shakily Dean nodded, more tears falling, his eyes still wide and fearful. Dean Winchester had hit a wall, that much Cas was sure of. Too much in too short of time. The Mark had been enough. Being a demon had been enough, his absolute worst fear. And he was well aware of how Dean had grieved when Cas had died. But Dean had never been completely out of control of his body. Not like this.

            “Stay with me.” Dean near whispered, “Least a little until I wake up and it’s all gone. Never lasts more than a night or so.”

            Cas took a breath, “Of course Dean.” he kissed his cheek again and he was shocked that Dean all but fell into the gesture, his hands listlessly grappling for him.

            Cas hurriedly gathered up some clothes and then began removing the waistcoat, tossing it across the room, then working on the buttons of his stark white shirt. Something so unlike Dean would wear, besides his FBI suits Cas had never seen him comfortably in anything but jeans and a flannel. “Hips up,” Cas said, Dean obeyed, and so Cas shimmied the slacks down past his legs revealing maroon boxer-briefs. He only briefly felt heat in his cheeks and pulled flannel pajama pants up Dean’s naked legs before pulling a t-shirt over his head, covering his naked torso.

            Cas didn’t even question, he dressed down to his own dress shirt and slacks, toeing out of his shoes, and situated himself and Dean onto the bed. Dean didn’t even hesitate he curled into Cas’ arms with a shaky sigh, wrapping one arm tightly around his waist.

            “This is nice,” Dean spoke quietly against the silence of the room, “Even though it won’t last.”

            “You simply need sleep,” Cas murmured against Dean’s temple, kissing him again wishing it were safe to kiss him on the mouth. But then Dean was answering this request, he’d pushed up from Cas’ chest and joined their lips. Dean was shaking but his mouth was opening just briefly enough to brush his tongue to the roof of Cas’ mouth. Cas tried to level his breath and then Dean was pulling away.

            “I hope that lasts me till next time,” Dean trembled, more tears falling from his eyes, never hesitating to snuggling close once more.

            “Next time?” Cas swallowed carefully, out of breath himself.

            “As soon as I kiss you, he pulls me out.” Dean croaked against the crook of Cas’ throat.

            “I’m right here,” Cas promised, pulling the blanket up and around the hunter’s shoulders and peppering kisses to his hair and forehead because he knew at this moment he was allowed to do so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Dean clung to the warmth beneath him, his cheek against it and the steady of another’s heartbeat. He held tight. He couldn’t let this go, Michael had yet to be this kind, to allow this kind of comfort for this long. He swung his leg over the warmth and if it were even possible, pulled it closer, keeping it locked at his side. He couldn’t be cold again.

            “Dean are you awake?” a deep timbered voice asked. He knew that voice. He raised his head just enough to meet the gaze of the angel.

            “Cas?”

            “Yes, it’s me,” Cas smiled, and then there were fingers gliding through his hair and he almost lost his breath at the sensation. He never knew that Cas could be so incredibly gentle, but here he was, touching Dean like he was something fragile.

            “You’re still here…” he said, he knew he was shaking already.

            “I assured you this was real. Did you sleep?” Cas asked, his tone affectionate and worried in one fell swoop.

            “I-I think so. What happened? I don’t understand…” he could feel the panic cresting. How many times had Michael pulled this on him? Offered him comfort just to shut him up while he did the awful things he did. Walks on the beach, long nights where all they did was hold each other, movie nights on the bunker couch. Too many times to count.

            “You came to an abandoned building slightly injured, your mother and Sam found you. Michael is gone. I’ve checked you thoroughly he is indeed gone. I assure you this is all real. You’re here with me and you’re safe.” and he didn’t know why he wasn’t freaking out that he was so carefully cradled in the angel’s arms. But he wasn’t, not in the least little bit. “Can you tell me what happened?”

            “I don’t know,” Dean couldn’t seem to level his voice, it shook no matter how much he tried to clear it. “I just woke up outside the building. It’s really fuzzy after that I don’t even know how I got here.”

            “Sam and your mother brought you home.”

            “How long have I been here?”

            “About 14 hours. That’s how long you have slept as much as I could gather.” he could hear the hesitation in Cas’ voice. “As long as I held you, you stayed asleep.”

            “I-I wasn’t sure this was real I didn’t mean to ya know, assume, I mean. And then Jesus I just pounced on you like that and I’m sorry…” he stumbled but then Cas was answering both their questions and pulling him in close for a gentle kiss. Dean nearly fell forward, almost knocking their teeth together.

            “It’s alright,” Cas silenced him with another kiss, “Everything’s alright.”

            Dean was melting, falling, crumbling, in all the right ways. This couldn’t be a dream, Michael never allowed it to ever last longer than a few hours, let alone a whole night’s sleep. The feeling of being ‘rested’ was actually disturbing.

            “I thought,” Dean tried with a weak chuckle, “That I could only have this in some kind of fucked up delusion.”

            And that rare Cas smile that Dean cherished was adorning his face, “It had been a long time coming since I’ve wanted this with you, beloved.”

            Without hesitation Dean shamelessly cuddled closer, tightening his arms around Cas’ waist and burying his face in the space between his neck and shoulder. “I really hate that it took that asshat to make me realize I wanted this.” he took a breath, clenching his eyes shut, “It was awful Cas…I wanted to be with you. You’re the only person that really makes me feel safe. He knew that. And he took advantage of it. It’s the only reason he kept me quiet for so long.”

            “You’re here now.” Cas said in a matter of fact tone and he felt lips against his brow in such an achingly intimate way he felt his eyes burning again, “You and me. Whatever we come up against from now on, it’s you and me.”

            “Okay,” Dean nodded, his throat aching with emotion, “You and me. Thanks Cas.”

            He relished in the feel of lips against his hair, closing his eyes and humming in contentment without control. He had a mountain of anxiety to conquer, he had to face that he was possessed for the first time in his long career of hunting, but with Cas at his side he felt as though he might be able to survive it all. As Cas was gliding his fingertips up and down Dean’s spine for a moment he felt safe, and for now, yes, everything could be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Please review! Oh it makes this little writer happy!


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